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When it comes to an abusive relationship, the abuse can be manifested in many ways. We often think only of physical or sexual abuse, but in reality things such as 'teasing' and mocking someone and constantly undermining a persons worth can also be classified as abusive. When it comes to identifying signs of teenage relationship abuse it's even more important, as a parent, that we know what to be on the lookout for.
Hopefully, you've shown your child that they can trust you with their problems so they'll be more likely to confide in you if something is going on, but the truth is that even if you and your child have good communication skills they still may be too uncomfortable to talk openly about the problem with you. Knowing what to look for can help you identify a potential problem even if your teen isn't willing to talk about it.
It's not uncommon for a teenage abuser to threaten to tarnish the reputation of their victim. With all the pressure to fit in when in high school, this can be a remarkably effective way for an abuser to keep his victim in line. As a parent, this can be a nightmare scenario - your kid in trouble but unwilling to let you help.
Here are some things you can keep an eye out for as they may indicate an abusive relationship:
1. If your teen suddenly seems to be getting hurt a lot it could be a sign of trouble. It's not uncommon for the victim of physical abuse to suddenly seem to have a lot of 'accidents' and become 'clumsy', but very often these bruises and cuts are signs that they are being physically abused and they are just too embarrassed to talk about it.
2. One of the most common techniques that abusers use is to isolate their victim, they will force them to cut off ties with friends and family, since it is easier to victimize them if they don't have a support system. If your teen suddenly loses interest in seeing their old friends or becomes even more reclusive around family, you may want to investigate further. I know teens can be somewhat reclusive anyway when it comes to spending time with family, but if they seem to get worse suddenly especially after they start seeing someone new, it may be cause for concern.
3. If your teen suddenly starts getting poor grades or doesn't seem interested in the hobbies they used to enjoy, again, this could be a sign of some problem.
No parent wants to think of their kid as being mistreated by anyone, that may be why it's so difficult for parents to grasp just how much of a problem teenage relationship abuse is becoming. Just try to always keep open lines of communication with your child, and teach them to trust their instincts, just as you should always trust yours. If you think that something is wrong with your kid and/or the person they are dating... it probably is.
The best way I can tell you to start to get over a relationship breakup is to take it one step at a time. Do not make any drastic moves or do anything stupid. Concentrate on your feelings, because there are quite a few to deal with, and what it might take to not feel like you have just stepped on a land mine.
All breakups are tough and can leave you feeling drained of energy and emotion. You thought when they said they loved you that it meant something and it is hard to accept that now they say they don't and maybe never did to begin with. Quite often I think people say those three words and really do not know what they mean.
Whether they once meant it or not, you probably will never know. My advice is to believe they did love you as much as they could, in their own way, at some point. Believing that they truly did love you will help give you a positive self worth and make it easier for you to learn how to move on when the time is right.
Never, ever try to ignore how you are feeling. You need to allow yourself the time to wallow in the hurt, anger, and frustration. Do yourself a favor though by not wallowing for too long. Make sure you set a time limit and stick to it. Start to pick up the pieces as soon as you can.
You have some pretty hefty decisions to make. You need to figure out how to live the single life again. The sooner you do this the better off you will be. so, where do you start learning how to get over a relationship breakup?
Get out of the house as soon as you can and do something to make yourself feel worthwhile. Spend some money on some new shoes or a new outfit, buy some flowers for the table, go get a manicure, volunteer some of your time at a nursing home for a day. Just be out in the world.
Do not, under any circumstances, contact your ex. This will only keep the hurt, anger, and frustration close to the surface and keep you from dealing effectively with these feelings. You need the time to be able to work through each one as they surface and then get rid of them.
Stay away from bars and clubs. Alcohol abuse will also only keep your feelings in the forefront. If you get drunk you may begin to feel that you can do or say something to try to get your ex back. The only thing you will accomplish is making a fool of yourself and you really do not need to deal with that pain on top of everything else. Remember when I said do not do anything stupid? Adding alcohol to an already bad situation IS stupid. Just do not do it.
Focus on yourself for the time being. Make yourself an appointment and get a new do or get to the gym you joined a year ago and get in shape. Just do anything and everything you can think of to make yourself feel better. Use your imagination and get creative. The painful feelings will fade more and more as each day passes. You will find yourself smiling more and starting to have fun again someday soon. Then you can be proud that you mastered how to get over a relationship breakup and came out the other side a stronger person for the effort.
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If you are hurting over a breakup relationship help is not as hard to find as you might think. It starts with you. If you feel you have the strength to tackle the way you feel by yourself then do so. Step back and assess your situation. Ask yourself how you really feel and be honest with yourself. Breaking up with someone is tough and you need all the strength you can muster to get through it.
First, and this is very important, let yourself feel the pain. Go ahead and wallow in it for a while. But only for a while. You need this very important step. Stay in bed for a day and cry your eyes out. Go get that pint of ice cream (or gallon) and sit in front of the TV and eat it til you can't eat anymore. Punch a pillow. Throw marshmallows as hard as you can into the sink. Do whatever you need to do to constructively deal with your pain. Believe this or not doing this is actually setting the foundation for the next weeks and months to come as you settle back into single life.
Dealing with your pain the right way can be empowering. That that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I know you have heard that saying and it is true. Like I said, if you are hurting over a breakup relationship help yourself. You will come out the other side a better, more confident person.
Now, what do you do after your day of wallowing? Wallow no more! Onward and upward! You are probably better off without the one you broke up with anyway. Seriously, take a good long look at your life and start to make some plans. Having a goal in mind will help keep you focused. Make a list of things you want to do. Take a vacation, go back to school, reconnect with old friends or heck, clean out that closet you have been meaning to get to. Organize your thoughts and your life and the rest will follow.
I believe, like many people do, that everything happens for a reason. Something good always come out of a bad situation. You just have to wait for it. Don't go looking for it, it will come to you. I also believe that everything we go through is a learning experience and you take what you learn from one experience to the next. Some call this learning from our mistakes. I like to think it's a little more spiritual than that. So you just went through a breakup, that person wasn't 'the one' anyway and you knew it from the start. So you take what you learned from that experience and tuck it away. Now you have that information to fall back on when your 'the one' makes their way into your life.
Once again, take a day and wallow then make a plan, set some goals, and organize things. Then you won't need any more hurting over a breakup relationship help.
During conversation with friends, someone asks how to reconcile a broken relationship. It gets you thinking about your last relationship and how you were certain you had found the love of your life but you eventually messed up anyway and she divorced you. Now you are thinking you want to try to get her back.
Since we all know you can't change anybody but yourself, the best way to go about that is to find a way to start making the changes you need to make in yourself. Don't think it will happen overnight because it won't. Some people are capable of making the life changes they need to make on their own but I recommend starting off by talking to a professional counselor and maybe joining a support group depending on what the problem was in your relationship.
If you are going to make lasting changes you need to find the training to do it. Just like going to college and earning your degree then training for your first job. You didn't know it before you learned it or trained for it. Making a relationship last is not any different. Life is a learning process. We are all works in progress. We are not born just knowing everything we need to know. Especially not knowing how to reconcile a broken relationship.
When your extensive training is complete, however long it takes, then you can approach your ex and simply ask to speak to her over coffee. Don't make any drastic moves at this point. You need to show her that you have changed and she has to learn to trust you again. This will all take time, probably several months at least. She is not going to jump right back into a relationship with someone who hurt her badly.
Say she agrees to have coffee with you, now what? Just talk to her. Keep the conversation light and don't get into anything heavy right off the bat. You will scare her off. Make her wonder what you are up to, keep her guessing. You want her to keep thinking about you after coffee. Don't tell her yet what you have been doing to improve yourself, show her. Let her start to see the new you. When she sees the changes you have made for herself she may even ask if you have been seeing a counselor. Now is the time you can tell her all about the improvements you have made and why.
If she is receptive to giving you and the relationship a second chance, ask her out on a real date and treat her like the love of your life you always thought she was. Also, sooner rather than later, sincerely apologize for any pain you caused her the first time around. If she forgives you, you know all your hard work was worth it and that she understands and trusts that you figured out how to reconcile a broken relationship.
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If you are asking yourself and anybody else who will listen, "Do I need relationship help?", then my response would be, if you are asking the question the answer is probably yes. No relationship is perfect and neither are the two individuals trying to make a go of it. Each one involved brings their own unique set of qualities to a relationship, good and bad.
Since we are all products of how we were raised, if your parents had a good relationship, respected each other, listened to one another and didn't fight about everything under the sun then you were shown your entire young life how to have a good relationship. Your parents gave you the tools you need to have a successful, loving relationship and you probably didn't even realize it.
On the other hand, if your parents didn't have a good relationship, disrespected each other, ignored each other and fought about anything and everything, they gave you a whole different set of tools. If this is the case, it is understandable why you are asking, "Do I need relationship help?"
If you do find yourself asking this question, good for you, this is a positive step believe it or not. It means you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve on yourself and become a true partner in your relationship. If you and your significant other are on the same page then you can both grow together and no one gets left behind.
So, where do you find the information you need to improve a relationship? There are several places you can look.
1. Self-help books - a good resource for insight into what it takes to have a good relationship. You don't get any feedback from a book so there will be some trial and error to find what works for your relationship and what doesn't.
2. Counseling - a third party to listen and offer advice when the problems seem too big to handle on your own. You will get plenty of feedback here so be prepared.
3. Your parents - They can give you a wealth of information on how they managed to stay married for as long as they have. Just remember, everyone is different and so is every situation. Don't try to be your parents, be yourself. Don't get too specific, try to talk in general terms when involving your parents, they worry about you enough.
4. Your significant other - Yes, yes and yes! Who else would you talk to about YOUR relationship? You would think this would be a no-brainer but you would be surprised at how may people start to see their partner as their enemy, instead of their ally, when things aren't going well.
So if you are insightful enough to ask, "Do I need relationship help?" then also be open to trying every single suggestion or recommendation given to you to help improve your relationship. It will definitely be worth all the hard work.
For most of us, learning to deal with relationship breakups will be an invaluable life skill to know. Many of us will fall in and out of love several times before we finally find "the one" and ending those other relationships is painful and difficult, even though the more you do it the easier it will become, which does not provide a lot of solace.
There are some tried and true methods you can use to help you get through your breakups maybe a little more quickly and easily. Everyone is different and finding the things that you can do that will help you find a little peace at this difficult tine can be a life saver when the time rolls around that you find yourself in relationship breakups.
One of the best places to start is with your life. I don't mean to overwhelm you but in most cases there are things that you like to do that maybe you haven't had much time to do. Or, you have not done it too much because your ex didn't want to do it. Remember those things, and start doing them again (or continue doing them if you have not stopped doing them).
Doing the things you love can help make your days go by a little more quickly and maybe take your mind off of your breakup or your ex for at least a little time (and at that point you'll take all the peace you can get).
Another great thing to do at this difficult time is to find a new activity, something you have been wanting to do for a long time but just never got around to it, that can help you concentrate on something other than your ex and your past. Many people have one or more of these types of things that they have been interested in doing but just have never found the time. Do it now. Again, that will give you something positive to think about and can offer you some relief during this time.
One of the things that you just do not want to do is to listen to all those "well meaning" people who tell you that you "need to get back out there". While that is true, you need to allow yourself all the time you need. No one can tell you how much time it will take you. Only you can figure out how you are feeling and when you are ready to start dating again.
Though, having said that, remember that if you don't seem to be moving on at all after several months you may want to try to find someone to talk to. Sometimes we all need the help of an objective third party who can help us see things that we may be too close to to see clearly. Finding a good counselor may be what you need to begin moving forward again.
Just do not beat yourself up, relationship breakups are an inevitable part of your dating life. learning the best way for you to deal with them will help you find peace and love again sooner, and isn't that what you really want?
Learning how to stop a relationship breakup is not as difficult as it may seem. All it takes is learning how to communicate with your spouse on a different level. Remember what it was like when you first got together? You talked about anything and everything and agreed on most things too. What happened?
Well, most likely, somewhere along the line one of you got your feelings hurt by what the other one said or did and it did not get addressed. Little resentments then started to creep their way in and got bigger and bigger. If one of you is stuck at home most days and the other one gets to go out and play all the time, more resentments build. One blames the other for their unhappiness and soon you find yourselves caught in a tailspin just waiting to crash and burn.
If you really don't want that to happen then you need to figure out how to stop a relationship breakup before it gets too out of control and all of a sudden divorce court is looming in front of you. How do you do that?
The first step, both of you, stop being so selfish! This is supposed to be a partnership not one pitted against the other. It's not about what each of you as individuals get out of this relationship, it's about what the two of you can accomplish together. Take stock of what you have built together. When all the pettiness gets swept out of the way and it comes right down to brass tacks, do you still love each other? Are you still 'in love' with each other?
If the answer is yes then just start treating each other better. If you have done something wrong, fix it. Say, "I'm sorry", and mean it. A little sorry goes a long way to fixing hurt feelings and whittling away at those little resentments that have built up for so long.
TALK to each other, not at each other. ASK how the other is doing, how their day was. LISTEN to each other, more importantly, HEAR each other. CARE about what is important to them, CARE about how they feel. Ask if there is anything you can do to take a little stress off of them. They will appreciate it and when it comes to your turn they will remember what you did for them and then do it for you. This is called GIVE and TAKE. When one of you does all the giving and the other does all the taking once again, those little resentments build and build.
It will take some practice, human beings are inherently selfish, and it takes some work to be the partner you should be when you are in a committed relationship. A few simple changes in how you approach your spouse or significant other will aid you in learning how to stop a relationship breakup.
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Letting go of a relationship can be one of the hardest things you ever have to do in your life. Hopefully you knew it was coming and didn't get blindsided by it. If you did know it was coming then letting go will be a little easier. If you were blindsided then right now you feel as if you were hit by a Mack truck, twice.
You are hurt, you are angry and now you have questions. How could I not see this coming? What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Why are you doing this? Unfortunately, these are questions that may never get answered. And if they do get answered you might not like what you hear so maybe it's best if they stay unanswered.
Dealing with the end of a relationship is much like dealing with a death in the family. There is a grieving process you must go through when letting go of a relationship, especially if it was a long-term relationship spanning several years. You might consider a counselor, support group or both to help advise you along the grieving journey. Ask for referrals from family or friends and keep them close for moral support, your church pastor will give you spiritual guidance, or just pick a counselor out of the yellow pages if you want to keep things private and not air your 'dirty laundry' so to speak.
Sometimes the pain you feel is so intense you don't think you can handle it so you push it down and deny your feelings. Then one day you cannot hold them in any longer and all those feelings come out as anger. Anger at the one who broke off the relationship or even anger at yourself for letting yourself get blindsided. When the anger subsides you may start to feel some guilt because you got so angry and maybe said or did something you now regret. To try to get relief from the emotional pain you may attempt to bargain with your higher power. Then all of a sudden one day you wake up and the sun is shining and you find yourself able to accept your new life and smile again for the first time in a long time.
When you finally learn to accept your fate then you can start to put the pieces of your life back together. Life does go on. Take each day as it comes and realize you had the strength to get through a tough situation. Be proud of yourself. Take some time to find out who you are and don't jump right back into another relationship right away. Enjoy your new found freedom, take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. Just be who you are for a while, not who someone else thinks you should be. Be as kind to yourself as you can be and you may find that letting go of that relationship was the best thing for you.
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Are you looking for relationship break up advice? Do you want to move on but do not know how to get out of your relationship? There are ways to let them down easy and free yourself from the bonds of a bad relationship.
The reasons couples break up are as numerous as couples themselves. One of the biggest reasons couples break up is bad communication skills. Couples who once boasted that they can talk about anything and everything now do not say more than two words to each other and usually at the top of their lungs when they do speak.
Or, all those little things you thought were so cute right in the beginning that now have become the most annoying things you have ever seen in your life and you can't stand to watch them do them anymore or you think you will lose your mind. You even fight over them now, how stupid is that?
It doesn't matter what the reasons are or have become, if you need relationship break up advice, read on.
If the communication you did have has declined even further and your partner is avoiding you completely you may want to take the initiative and ask what the heck is going on. They may just be having some problems at work and are trying to deal with them in their own way without making you worry. What they do not understand is that their behavior is making you worry even more.
Your best bet to finding out what the heck is going on is to ask them about it. Be careful here though because if the work thing is not the problem then maybe you are and if they decide to open up then you may not like what you hear. No one wants to be the reason a relationship breaks up. It takes two to tango so do not take all the blame on yourself. Both of you have contributed to the relationships demise.
If nothing else shows itself, investigate what they are doing on the computer. If they have hidden files or have suddenly password protected their stuff then you can be sure that something is going on they do not want you to see or know about. Again, let them know you know something is wrong and you want to know what it is.
What about talking on the phone? do they leave the room and try to hide their conversations? Have you caught them talking on the phone in the bathroom or some other strange place? If so they are most definitely keeping secrets and you should prepare for the worst.
Be the initiator, set up a time and place for the two of you to talk things out and either agree to work things out or let things go. Life is too short to waste time with someone who causes you pain. Use these tips for relationship break up advice and move on with your lives.
There are countless reasons why you would need to mend a broken relationship. The first thing to do is to name them. Is it money? Not spending enough time together? Responsibilities getting in the way? Whatever the problems are they can be overcome.
If things have not totally gotten out of control (and even if they have) you can attempt to fix them by opening the lines of communication. Too often, when things start to go bad, people in a relationship shut down and withdraw into themselves. What you should do is grab your partner and say enough is enough, let's have this out right now. We need to work together to resolve these issues.
If the problem is money, try to either find ways to make more or find ways to spend less. One or both of you go get a part-time job to bring in more cash or learn how to spend less by cutting coupons or buying the store brands which are usually as good as the name brands and cost a lot less. Turn a hobby into a money-making machine.
If you don't spend enough quality time together then start having a date night once a week or once a month. Put a babysitter on retainer and use them frequently. Go see a movie and have dinner, go see a play, have a picnic in the park, or just go for a walk after dinner. Do something to keep in physical contact with each other during your "date". Holding hands will help mend a broken relationship.
I once knew a couple who were married for 73 years, had thirteen children and countless grand and great-grand children. They were so cute together, and they held hands everywhere they went. Physical contact is very important in keeping a relationship healthy.
How about those responsibilities? If they are too much for one of you to handle then ask the other for help. As a couple sometimes one of you just expects the other to know what you need or are thinking. If you think about it that is rather foolish, right? I know I can't read anybody's mind, can you? So lower your expectations and ask for help. Explain things and show them how to do what you need done if they don't know how. Work together to divide responsibilities evenly or if money is not a problem, hire someone to do whatever it is that you need done.
Make some time and go have some fun together. Go fly a kite, go bowling, go to the go-cart track, play miniature golf, find a way to laugh together. Be creative. Play, laugh and be happy - together. Remember how it was when you were all brand new and just falling in love? You spent every single moment together and everything was fresh and fun. You laughed all the time. Find your way back there and you'll also find that's the way to mend a broken relationship.
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There are many ways to handle overcoming a relationship break up. One way is to write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal. Next time you go to the store buy yourself a nice notebook. Put it next to your bed on your night table with a pen. Each night when you go to bed spend a minute or two writing down how you felt about one aspect of your relationship. This is a great way to vent your feelings and keep your emotions under control. Writing things in a journal will help you heal.
Another way is to get out with your best friend or group of friends for some fun. Go sing some karaoke in your favorite neighborhood bar. Don't stay home alone. All you'll end up doing is focusing on what could have been instead of what is and what will be. So get out and try to have some fun with friends.
How about renting a couple of good comedy flicks to help you take your mind off all that pain you are feeling? Good idea, huh? Invite that Best Friend Forever over for a night of popcorn and laughs. You will definitely feel better in the morning because it is a well known fact that if you can laugh, whatever it is that's bothering you is really not that bad.
Dance your pain away. Seriously, turn on the radio, turn it up and just dance, dance, dance. Soon you will be laughing and having the time of your life and will forget all about, who again? See? It's working already. Pretty soon you will start to think that overcoming a relationship break up is a piece of cake.
Change your routine, drive a different way to work, go to a museum, go shopping and buy yourself something new, read a scary novel (stay away from the romance novels though they tend to make things worse for the reader). Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off whatsher/whatshisname. Heck, you are probably better off without them anyway. It may not feel like it now but, who knows, maybe there is someone better waiting for you just around the next corner. You will never know if you keep yourself holed up in your home with the blinds down and the curtains drawn.
Basically what you need to do here is fake it till you make it. Smile when you don't feel like it and the next thing you know you catch yourself smiling for no apparent reason. Sometimes that's just what you have to do to get through the day. The pain you feel now will not last forever and in a couple of months when you meet someone new and better for you, you will even wonder why you made such a big deal over this one. Breaking up can feel like the end of the world but overcoming a relationship break up can show you a whole brand new one.
