Saturday, November 26, 2011

How To Stop A Relationship Breakup








Learning how to stop a relationship breakup is not as difficult as it may seem. All it takes is learning how to communicate with your spouse on a different level. Remember what it was like when you first got together? You talked about anything and everything and agreed on most things too. What happened?





Well, most likely, somewhere along the line one of you got your feelings hurt by what the other one said or did and it did not get addressed. Little resentments then started to creep their way in and got bigger and bigger. If one of you is stuck at home most days and the other one gets to go out and play all the time, more resentments build. One blames the other for their unhappiness and soon you find yourselves caught in a tailspin just waiting to crash and burn.





If you really don't want that to happen then you need to figure out how to stop a relationship breakup before it gets too out of control and all of a sudden divorce court is looming in front of you. How do you do that?





The first step, both of you, stop being so selfish! This is supposed to be a partnership not one pitted against the other. It's not about what each of you as individuals get out of this relationship, it's about what the two of you can accomplish together. Take stock of what you have built together. When all the pettiness gets swept out of the way and it comes right down to brass tacks, do you still love each other? Are you still 'in love' with each other?





If the answer is yes then just start treating each other better. If you have done something wrong, fix it. Say, "I'm sorry", and mean it. A little sorry goes a long way to fixing hurt feelings and whittling away at those little resentments that have built up for so long.





TALK to each other, not at each other. ASK how the other is doing, how their day was. LISTEN to each other, more importantly, HEAR each other. CARE about what is important to them, CARE about how they feel. Ask if there is anything you can do to take a little stress off of them. They will appreciate it and when it comes to your turn they will remember what you did for them and then do it for you. This is called GIVE and TAKE. When one of you does all the giving and the other does all the taking once again, those little resentments build and build.





It will take some practice, human beings are inherently selfish, and it takes some work to be the partner you should be when you are in a committed relationship. A few simple changes in how you approach your spouse or significant other will aid you in learning how to stop a relationship breakup.


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