Relationship's Three Rings
Fr. Larry Tan, SDB; is one of my favorite Salesian Catechists because of his antics unusual for a priest. I remember him one time giving a humorous but truthful homily during a Sunday Service. He said: "There are three kinds of rings in every relationship. First is the Engagement ring; a symbol of commitment between two lovers. The ring is symbolic of an ownership of one party to the other and vice-versa. Second is the Wedding ring; a symbol of engagement in its highest form thereby both parties agree to bind their commitment legally and with the blessing of the Holy Matrimony; that what God had joined, let no man separates. The third is Suffer-ring; being the last ring symbolic of pain suffered from a bad relationship after losing its magical spell." His homily brought down all parishioners inside the church to laughter. However, I wish to add one more ring to what Fr. Larry had told. This is Tiri-ring (ring of lunacy); apt to partners who had lost their sanity because of unbearable pain and suffering caused by bad relationship. But was it really the relationship gone badly or the partners?
Always Looking for a Quick Way Out
I was browsing a thread from a social networking group when I chanced upon a forum titled: "Marriage or Live-in?" The majority is in favor of live-in over marriage simply because of convenience. In this age of modernization, everything comes easy; ATM that dispenses money anytime and anywhere, Instant Noodles, Instant Coffee and the like. It is a common nature of human to desire convenience. This common desire is the reason why we always dream of the impossible-to find the best partner in life. In so doing, people go in and out of a relationship, as if one so eager to find best buys from items up for sale. But the question is: Why would you look for a best mate where in fact you're not perfect either? The truth as we all know it; nobody is perfect, not even one.
There is No Bad Relationship But Bad Partners
When marriage started to lose its intimacy or when fairy tale's magic wanes out, couples are starting to entertain the thoughts of escaping to find another Romeo or perhaps, a new Juliet. How easy after all to get out of a messy relationship to find someone new. It is the thought perhaps that marriage, like any other contract will terminate at the end of a predetermined expiry date. We never realized however, that it is the couple who must consummate the relationship in order for it to work wonderfully as it should and not the other way around. Relationship fails not because it is bound to fail but it is because partners failed to do their respective share in the relationship.
Relationship is a Decision
Making a decision is arriving at a solution that ends uncertainty or that settles a dispute. It is distinguishing between options; some big, some little, some good and some evil. When making a decision, you must choose between little things such as chocolate or vanilla ice cream or big issues like which career to pursue or what house to buy. How about a decision whether to stay or get out of a bad marriage?
My marriage is an example of a relationship that almost gone off-track. If not for my wife's decision not to surrender to all of my misgivings, I would be singing a different tune at this point. How she bears to continuously loving an immature and conceited husband as I used to be is a decision she had made at the time when our marriage is on-the-rocks. Had she opted for an easy way out of a shaky relationship, I would not even have the moral ascendancy to write this article.
Making Relationship Work
We all made mistakes. Some are accidental while others are intentional and sinful. But what had happened in the past must stay in the past and should never be opened unless you want to unleash the curse inside Pandora's Box. Love never keeps records of wrongs and misgivings but good memories.
Many times I have used this favorite phrase: "There is no such thing as marriage made in heaven." But marriage could be a bed of roses or bed of thorns depending on how we want it to be. For a relationship to work requires love put into action. Love has to be compounded by hard work between two willing partners in order for a relationship to work. While it is true that love had started it all however, your good intention of making your relationship work will re-define the meaning of love from a "simple noun" into "verb."
The right decision is not always the popular and the easiest one. Ask for God's discernment in all the decision that you are going to make not only in your marriage but also to your life as a whole. And with that, you can never go wrong and you are sure that you will be making a good decision.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Gener_Marcelo/152008
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1900777
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, November 12, 2020
Monday, October 5, 2020
Keys to Making Relationships Work
Good relationships are definitely good sources of happiness in this life, especially if it concerns a romantic relationship or if it involves marriage, as this is a foundation of building one good and happy family. We may have found the right person and there may be lots of love, but if we fail in making relationships work, life may not be as happy as we think it would be.
We all want happy and fulfilling relationships and but if we do not keep that relationship alive, it can also be one of the most distressing things in life. Many of us may have gone through heartbreaks or some may have ended up in a divorce. Although heartbreaks are normal in dating, it can be somehow frustrating to think that we have finally found Mr. Right, married him but eventually ended up in a divorce.
From my experiences in life and from the many books that I have read about relationships, I have been trying to have a guide in making relationships work. There may be no hard and fast rules in making good relationships, as each of us has different preferences and points of view as to what is a great relationship, but I have found these two major key players in making relationships work.
Communication
It is often said that building good relationships is all about communication. Even if you are just starting out with dating, communication plays a major role in finding your perfect partner. Good communication indeed governs a good relationship - knowing the right thing to say, when to say it, how to say it, and accepting that some things that are better left unsaid.
I remembered one friend who confided in me how he was shocked to find out about huge credit card debts that his wife has incurred without his knowledge. He said he never felt so betrayed in his married life than a wife not telling him of her splurges in spending. Worst, it led to more marriage conflicts and divorce.
Truly, a gap in communication can bring a relationship down, and especially for married couples, I personally think communication must be broadened because building a family involves more decisions to make. From finances to religion, from intimacies to child responsibility and even in things about yourself or about your partner that you do not know, communication is essential in these aspects of the relationships.
Mutual Respect and Support for Each Other
Of course, being with someone is not saying that you totally agree with him all the time. You and your partner come from different family backgrounds, raised in different environments so there may be disagreements here and there. However, it is important in making relationships work to express disagreements without pushing the relationship to end. Again, good communication and learning to compromise at times are essential.
As the relationship lasts longer, you may also discover things about you and your partner that you may not have known before. Therefore, supporting each other on both your 'hidden selves' can also make a mature relationship.
Love is an important aspect of building relationships and for me, I always believe that love needs to be complemented with open communication, mutual respect, support and understanding in making relationships work. You can then work on the small things that spice up your marriage or your romantic relationship to make it more fun and interesting.
Carolyn Anderson is a freelance author, book reviewer and an avid reader. To find an exciting way to know more about your partner and make your relationship work, you can check out 1000 Questions For Couples. If you need to strengthen your relationships you can also check Keep Your Marriage, which is a guide on making your marriage more fun and exciting.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Carolyn_Anderson/338254
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2448972
We all want happy and fulfilling relationships and but if we do not keep that relationship alive, it can also be one of the most distressing things in life. Many of us may have gone through heartbreaks or some may have ended up in a divorce. Although heartbreaks are normal in dating, it can be somehow frustrating to think that we have finally found Mr. Right, married him but eventually ended up in a divorce.
From my experiences in life and from the many books that I have read about relationships, I have been trying to have a guide in making relationships work. There may be no hard and fast rules in making good relationships, as each of us has different preferences and points of view as to what is a great relationship, but I have found these two major key players in making relationships work.
Communication
It is often said that building good relationships is all about communication. Even if you are just starting out with dating, communication plays a major role in finding your perfect partner. Good communication indeed governs a good relationship - knowing the right thing to say, when to say it, how to say it, and accepting that some things that are better left unsaid.
I remembered one friend who confided in me how he was shocked to find out about huge credit card debts that his wife has incurred without his knowledge. He said he never felt so betrayed in his married life than a wife not telling him of her splurges in spending. Worst, it led to more marriage conflicts and divorce.
Truly, a gap in communication can bring a relationship down, and especially for married couples, I personally think communication must be broadened because building a family involves more decisions to make. From finances to religion, from intimacies to child responsibility and even in things about yourself or about your partner that you do not know, communication is essential in these aspects of the relationships.
Mutual Respect and Support for Each Other
Of course, being with someone is not saying that you totally agree with him all the time. You and your partner come from different family backgrounds, raised in different environments so there may be disagreements here and there. However, it is important in making relationships work to express disagreements without pushing the relationship to end. Again, good communication and learning to compromise at times are essential.
As the relationship lasts longer, you may also discover things about you and your partner that you may not have known before. Therefore, supporting each other on both your 'hidden selves' can also make a mature relationship.
Love is an important aspect of building relationships and for me, I always believe that love needs to be complemented with open communication, mutual respect, support and understanding in making relationships work. You can then work on the small things that spice up your marriage or your romantic relationship to make it more fun and interesting.
Carolyn Anderson is a freelance author, book reviewer and an avid reader. To find an exciting way to know more about your partner and make your relationship work, you can check out 1000 Questions For Couples. If you need to strengthen your relationships you can also check Keep Your Marriage, which is a guide on making your marriage more fun and exciting.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Carolyn_Anderson/338254
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2448972
Thursday, September 17, 2020
Making Relationships Work - First Step Toward a Second Chance
When taking your first step toward a second chance of making relationships work, you would need to be honest with yourself. Calm yourself down and be in a calm environment when you attempt to analyse your situation. Do not let your emotions get in the way and try to keep away from any blame you have been receiving. No one knows what you are thinking of, so if you were to admit to yourself that you were wrong, nobody would hear you when you are in your empty room, in a house with your parents out.
Do not start defending yourself as you think about how your partner has been blaming you. When your partner says something or takes any action, there is a reason to it and unless your partner was someone who sets fires because he was a pyromaniac. Keep your emotions aside and think about what your partner has said. Then, look at the situation again and think if it may actually be true.
Consider looking at even the smallest things brought up by your partner. Frustrations could have started over one minor incident at first, which your partner decided to overlook. Then, these minor incidents would pile up and your partner's frustration adds up and becomes too much to bear. Arguments could result from it and you two might look at only what is on the surface. Re-look at the incident and think over it again while you try to find out the root of the incident. It might have been that careless littering committed by your partner, or it could actually be you who introduced those new candies to your partner.
If you feel that you have found out the source of your problems, you might want to contact your partner to try to resolve the problem together. The sooner you have your problems resolved, the easier it would be to heal the wounds in your hearts, and allow you two to consider getting back together or something else. Do try to help your partner - not force - see your situation in the same logical and reasonable way you did so that your partner could give you an alternate view with alternate solutions. It might produce another conflict because both of you might suddenly want to use your own solutions but it at least shows how both of you are sincere about wanting to save the relationship.
One of the most important things to remember about having a relationship is to be mature. Enjoyment, comfort, security, etc, would be part of what you want in your relationship, but if you can only demand things to be done your way and will not listen to advice and pleas from your partner, it would be no different from being a royal member of the family. Unfortunately, even royal families are forced to develop great maturity to run their countries.
Be sure to understand your partner if getting back into a relationship is what you two want. You may have found out the problem, you may have found a solution, but actually getting back together may still put a strain on the two of you, because you two may still hold bad memories of your break up, making you uncertain or frighten of facing a similar situation again. Also consider if your lives can actually allow you two to continue being together. Some may have too many commitments and the need to give you the love you deserve could be too much of a strain. It should be pointed out when finding a solution together, but as always, keep an open mind and consider things from any and all perspectives.
Remember to maintain communication with your partner. Merely saying the usual everyday talk would not help much in repairing your relationship. Consider entering a conversation about the things your partner is interested in or is dying to vent frustrations on. Also allow you and your partner to express your feelings and opinions on matters around the both of you.
By learning more about your partner and being open to things that come your way, it would help you to understand your partner more, and your partner could know more about you as well. Take it as a chance to win the heart of your potential lover and the way you try to learn more about that person.
Next, learn more about how to get back love [http://www.howtogetback.com] which will increase your chance of getting back together with your partner.
HowToGetBack.com is a relationship site that provides tips, methods and strategies to help those who are currently facing difficulties in their relationship journey. Visit our relationship site and start to learn more about the different stages of relationships [http://www.howtogetback.com/stages-of-relationships.php] today.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Johnny_Wayne/322387
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4019549
Do not start defending yourself as you think about how your partner has been blaming you. When your partner says something or takes any action, there is a reason to it and unless your partner was someone who sets fires because he was a pyromaniac. Keep your emotions aside and think about what your partner has said. Then, look at the situation again and think if it may actually be true.
Consider looking at even the smallest things brought up by your partner. Frustrations could have started over one minor incident at first, which your partner decided to overlook. Then, these minor incidents would pile up and your partner's frustration adds up and becomes too much to bear. Arguments could result from it and you two might look at only what is on the surface. Re-look at the incident and think over it again while you try to find out the root of the incident. It might have been that careless littering committed by your partner, or it could actually be you who introduced those new candies to your partner.
If you feel that you have found out the source of your problems, you might want to contact your partner to try to resolve the problem together. The sooner you have your problems resolved, the easier it would be to heal the wounds in your hearts, and allow you two to consider getting back together or something else. Do try to help your partner - not force - see your situation in the same logical and reasonable way you did so that your partner could give you an alternate view with alternate solutions. It might produce another conflict because both of you might suddenly want to use your own solutions but it at least shows how both of you are sincere about wanting to save the relationship.
One of the most important things to remember about having a relationship is to be mature. Enjoyment, comfort, security, etc, would be part of what you want in your relationship, but if you can only demand things to be done your way and will not listen to advice and pleas from your partner, it would be no different from being a royal member of the family. Unfortunately, even royal families are forced to develop great maturity to run their countries.
Be sure to understand your partner if getting back into a relationship is what you two want. You may have found out the problem, you may have found a solution, but actually getting back together may still put a strain on the two of you, because you two may still hold bad memories of your break up, making you uncertain or frighten of facing a similar situation again. Also consider if your lives can actually allow you two to continue being together. Some may have too many commitments and the need to give you the love you deserve could be too much of a strain. It should be pointed out when finding a solution together, but as always, keep an open mind and consider things from any and all perspectives.
Remember to maintain communication with your partner. Merely saying the usual everyday talk would not help much in repairing your relationship. Consider entering a conversation about the things your partner is interested in or is dying to vent frustrations on. Also allow you and your partner to express your feelings and opinions on matters around the both of you.
By learning more about your partner and being open to things that come your way, it would help you to understand your partner more, and your partner could know more about you as well. Take it as a chance to win the heart of your potential lover and the way you try to learn more about that person.
Next, learn more about how to get back love [http://www.howtogetback.com] which will increase your chance of getting back together with your partner.
HowToGetBack.com is a relationship site that provides tips, methods and strategies to help those who are currently facing difficulties in their relationship journey. Visit our relationship site and start to learn more about the different stages of relationships [http://www.howtogetback.com/stages-of-relationships.php] today.
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Johnny_Wayne/322387
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4019549
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
Making Relationships Work - You Can If You Want To
There are many types of relationships, there are those we have with our parents, with friends, with our work colleagues, with our spouse. Making relationships work requires a different approach depending on the type of relationship, the most important of these relationships in my opinion is going to be the one with your spouse.
You will spend more time with your spouse than with the other people in your life, so for that reason I am going to concentrate on the subject of making your relationship with your spouse work.
When getting married we tend at first to try and carry on with our life as if we were still single, this for a time will work but after a while your spouse might want to change things. This is not entirely unreasonable after all you did commit to a life together no matter what vows you took on your wedding day.
It is however unreasonable for your spouse to expect this to happen over night, it will take time, a night out with your friends at the weekend has been part of your weekly routine for a long time. After a week at work it is good to go out and let your hair down with your friends, but remember your spouse is your new best friend and should be part of your weekend activities.
To make your marriage work you are both going to have to make changes, you both have friends some of which you grew up with, I am not saying you should turn your back on your friends. The relationship you have with your friends needs to change, your spouse should come first, remember that it is a marriage and both of you have gone into this with your eyes open.
You are both individuals and you have to respect this, there needs to be give and take on both sides, if you really want this to work. Once you have accepted this you can then start to build your life together. You should both work on keeping your life together exciting and fun.
Don't fall into a routine, where you come home at night grunt at each other have your evening meal then fall asleep in front of the TV, talk to each other try to keep your conversations up beat, everyone has a bad day at work, unless you are one of the lucky ones who actually likes their job, don't take your work home with you, leave it where it belongs.
Be spontaneous don't plan weekends away just go, get hobbies together, sharing, being together are all things that go together when making relationships work, sitting in front of the TV is not being together, sitting talking and interacting together is being together.
Make a plan, do you want children, where would you like to live, when do you want to retire, how many holidays do you want each year. This should be a joint effort, it should be what you both want, once you have made your plan start to work on it, working together will bring you closer and you will see results quicker.
Can it be a fairytale ending? There are going to be many obstacles as you go through life together, by facing these obstacles together and supporting each other, nothing can get in your way, and you will have a long lasting life together. Making relationships work is easy when you are working together.
For more information on relationships you can visit my blog [http://www.howtofixarelationshipinfo.com]
Another article on the subject of making relationships work [http://www.howtofixarelationshipinfo.com/making-relationships-work/making-relationships-work]
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Bill_Coton/270146
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5350776
You will spend more time with your spouse than with the other people in your life, so for that reason I am going to concentrate on the subject of making your relationship with your spouse work.
When getting married we tend at first to try and carry on with our life as if we were still single, this for a time will work but after a while your spouse might want to change things. This is not entirely unreasonable after all you did commit to a life together no matter what vows you took on your wedding day.
It is however unreasonable for your spouse to expect this to happen over night, it will take time, a night out with your friends at the weekend has been part of your weekly routine for a long time. After a week at work it is good to go out and let your hair down with your friends, but remember your spouse is your new best friend and should be part of your weekend activities.
To make your marriage work you are both going to have to make changes, you both have friends some of which you grew up with, I am not saying you should turn your back on your friends. The relationship you have with your friends needs to change, your spouse should come first, remember that it is a marriage and both of you have gone into this with your eyes open.
You are both individuals and you have to respect this, there needs to be give and take on both sides, if you really want this to work. Once you have accepted this you can then start to build your life together. You should both work on keeping your life together exciting and fun.
Don't fall into a routine, where you come home at night grunt at each other have your evening meal then fall asleep in front of the TV, talk to each other try to keep your conversations up beat, everyone has a bad day at work, unless you are one of the lucky ones who actually likes their job, don't take your work home with you, leave it where it belongs.
Be spontaneous don't plan weekends away just go, get hobbies together, sharing, being together are all things that go together when making relationships work, sitting in front of the TV is not being together, sitting talking and interacting together is being together.
Make a plan, do you want children, where would you like to live, when do you want to retire, how many holidays do you want each year. This should be a joint effort, it should be what you both want, once you have made your plan start to work on it, working together will bring you closer and you will see results quicker.
Can it be a fairytale ending? There are going to be many obstacles as you go through life together, by facing these obstacles together and supporting each other, nothing can get in your way, and you will have a long lasting life together. Making relationships work is easy when you are working together.
For more information on relationships you can visit my blog [http://www.howtofixarelationshipinfo.com]
Another article on the subject of making relationships work [http://www.howtofixarelationshipinfo.com/making-relationships-work/making-relationships-work]
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Bill_Coton/270146
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5350776
Thursday, July 30, 2020
Making Relationships Work With the Use of a Principle Called YOU GO FIRST
People significant in your life tend to be indifferent and insensitive to neither your words nor actions. It's like one giant burden when you try to convince them in making relationships work and not even a trifle of change exists.
Truth be told, we try to mend our relationships by changing someone else. At some point in life, we recognize the certainty of making everyone in our life act the way we think, behave, love and wish. In demanding them to value the things that we value, we also want them to make the first move of changing themselves before we do.
Now the dilemma with this kind of situation is that everyone expects and insists that the other person should undergo the transformation first but nobody wants to make a jumpstart to it. Consequently, relationships are stagnated and unfulfilling.
WHO CAN YOU SOLELY CHANGE?
Consider the time you spend in refusing demands from loved ones or coercing them to do what you want. Making relationships work will be unattainable every time you try to manipulate another person. The relationship suffers more when you force the one you love to act according to your preferences. It's a waste of energy and time so to speak.
Resentment results when you force the person to change to achieve what you wanted. In addition to that, you will also experience "trust" issues knowing that his/her change was not a willful act. And surely with this, you won't fully enjoy your loved one's transformation.
Despite the beliefs that run in your mind, you can never and you should never dictate a person to change. The only person that should change is YOU. Forcing the other to change is not effective while making relationships work by changing yourself does.
CONCERN ON BEING STEPPED ON
People who talk about attempting to control their actions and not their loved ones are often times concerned that they may be abused and overpowered. But haven't you thought about how the other person that you love would feel if you were the ones that controlled over them?
It doesn't make you less like a doormat when you begin to take control over your behavior. As a matter of fact, it is an empowering move that you should take in your life. You always have a choice not to allow someone to overpower you. Respond in a way that is at par to the standards you set for your self but never insist him/her to change.
Empowering your relationship commences from re-identifying the do's and don'ts in a relationship and your reaction to certain situations no matter what it is. The process of defining your personal freedom also begins here. Remember that if you take control over the things you do, you gain your own freedom too.
THE PRINCIPLE OF "YOU GO FIRST"
Bear in mind that your behavior alone is the one that you can truly change. Before telling others what to do, start thinking about what you can do first for a change, if you want to make your relationship work. You are bound to lose every time you concentrate on changing someone else than on what you can differently do for now.
Spend your time wisely by directing your attention on the things you can change in yourself than trying to manipulate someone else for the improvement of your relationship and movement to the path you want. Always focus on how to respond differently to your partner despite your strong beliefs that your partner, parent, friend or child caused your relationship problems. In this way, making relationships work is trouble-free.
APPLYING THE YOU GO FIRST PRINCIPLE IN MAKING RELATIONSHIPS WORK
When improving your relationships, bear in mind the "go first" principle and think about what you can change, however small, to get it moving to the right direction. Be involved and make the initial step to change yourself before someone else. Surely, you'll be amazed by the rapid improvement of your relationships.
Get FREE Instant Access to 25 Shocking Habits that Could be Sabotaging Your Relationships, a wildly popular report for Professionals.
http://crucialhabits.com/
Crucial Habits is a Popular company Teaching Professionals Crucial Habits for Dating and Relationship Success. Click Here http://crucialhabits.com/
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/David_W_Mckenzie/936854
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6078518
Truth be told, we try to mend our relationships by changing someone else. At some point in life, we recognize the certainty of making everyone in our life act the way we think, behave, love and wish. In demanding them to value the things that we value, we also want them to make the first move of changing themselves before we do.
Now the dilemma with this kind of situation is that everyone expects and insists that the other person should undergo the transformation first but nobody wants to make a jumpstart to it. Consequently, relationships are stagnated and unfulfilling.
WHO CAN YOU SOLELY CHANGE?
Consider the time you spend in refusing demands from loved ones or coercing them to do what you want. Making relationships work will be unattainable every time you try to manipulate another person. The relationship suffers more when you force the one you love to act according to your preferences. It's a waste of energy and time so to speak.
Resentment results when you force the person to change to achieve what you wanted. In addition to that, you will also experience "trust" issues knowing that his/her change was not a willful act. And surely with this, you won't fully enjoy your loved one's transformation.
Despite the beliefs that run in your mind, you can never and you should never dictate a person to change. The only person that should change is YOU. Forcing the other to change is not effective while making relationships work by changing yourself does.
CONCERN ON BEING STEPPED ON
People who talk about attempting to control their actions and not their loved ones are often times concerned that they may be abused and overpowered. But haven't you thought about how the other person that you love would feel if you were the ones that controlled over them?
It doesn't make you less like a doormat when you begin to take control over your behavior. As a matter of fact, it is an empowering move that you should take in your life. You always have a choice not to allow someone to overpower you. Respond in a way that is at par to the standards you set for your self but never insist him/her to change.
Empowering your relationship commences from re-identifying the do's and don'ts in a relationship and your reaction to certain situations no matter what it is. The process of defining your personal freedom also begins here. Remember that if you take control over the things you do, you gain your own freedom too.
THE PRINCIPLE OF "YOU GO FIRST"
Bear in mind that your behavior alone is the one that you can truly change. Before telling others what to do, start thinking about what you can do first for a change, if you want to make your relationship work. You are bound to lose every time you concentrate on changing someone else than on what you can differently do for now.
Spend your time wisely by directing your attention on the things you can change in yourself than trying to manipulate someone else for the improvement of your relationship and movement to the path you want. Always focus on how to respond differently to your partner despite your strong beliefs that your partner, parent, friend or child caused your relationship problems. In this way, making relationships work is trouble-free.
APPLYING THE YOU GO FIRST PRINCIPLE IN MAKING RELATIONSHIPS WORK
When improving your relationships, bear in mind the "go first" principle and think about what you can change, however small, to get it moving to the right direction. Be involved and make the initial step to change yourself before someone else. Surely, you'll be amazed by the rapid improvement of your relationships.
Get FREE Instant Access to 25 Shocking Habits that Could be Sabotaging Your Relationships, a wildly popular report for Professionals.
http://crucialhabits.com/
Crucial Habits is a Popular company Teaching Professionals Crucial Habits for Dating and Relationship Success. Click Here http://crucialhabits.com/
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/David_W_Mckenzie/936854
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6078518
Wednesday, June 24, 2020
Making Relationships Work
Making Relationships Work
What do those couples do that we can do, is the question Epstein asked.
It turns out that those couples in India, who may have met once prior to their marriage ceremony, work on intimacy.
They put regular effort into behaviors which enhance their connection, like a workout if you will.
So come hell, high water, or in-laws, those couples engage in regular repetitions of behaviors like what Epstein calls 'soul gazing' which means that a couple sits close together and looks into each others eyes for two minutes.
Try it, you will enjoy that one, and another exercise is designed to synchronize heart beats, which I have done in my office using Heartmath, a heart rate variability biofeedback program.
Using heart rate variability biofeedback, both partners first learn to make their own heart rate variability coherent, then I hook them up to separate computers, and the partners hold hands and look at their own heart rate variability, and slowly a heart beat of the relationship emerges, which is a combination of their own coherences.
Couples learn how fast they move into and out of coherence based on what they are thinking about. To a person, folks are amazed that a thought can have so rapid and powerful impact on their physiology, even when they are sitting quietly.
One of the great benefits of Heart rate variability biofeedback is that it is so easy to learn and repeat,for example I can simply remember a memory of a time I and my wife were close, to cue heart rate variability coherence, when I am away from her, and perhaps stressed at work.
Practice like that makes our in person practice that much stronger.
Masters of Marriage
John Gottman,Ph.D., and his wife Julie Schwartz-Gottman have been following couples for 30 years at the Love Lab, where couples come to spend a weekend where they are observed by the Gottman team doing as they usually do.
Out of the voluminous data, the Gottman's have discovered what the masters of marriage do that keeps their union going strong, and have put those ideas together in a workshop called The Art and Science of Love, which I have used with my domestic violence counseling clients.
Those clients are often amazed that relationship skills, listening skills, intimacy skills, Heartmath, etc. can all be learned and practiced.
In fact, I have used the Gottman exercise called Discovering Your Partners Love Map with couples who were arguing a moment before, and watched them move from confrontation to fond memory.
The Gottman's also speak to what they call the Four Horsemen.
Expressions of contempt, disgust, criticism, and stonewalling are markers for divorce, so those are negative making relationships work skills.
The Chemistry of Love
What if making relationships work could begin with an effort to find someone you had chemistry with?
Sounds like a bad T.V. or internet advertisement doesn't it, but perhaps we should read the research that Helen Fisher,Ph.D. has done on 'in-love' brains.
Fisher has done a huge amount of scientific evaluation of fMRI or functional magenetic resonance images of folks who have just fallen in or out of love.
It turns out that our brains activate very powerful systems involved with lust, love, and trust, and each of those systems has a hormone or neurotransmitter associated with it, and we can engage in behaviors which enhance the presence of that hormone or neurotransmitter.
For example, the hormone associated with trust is oxytocin, which is the milk let down hormone for women, and which both partners get a burst of during orgasm, or during intimacy exercises like what Epstein and the Gottman's prescribe.
(So do eye gazing and make love, and that will help make the relationship work? Sounds like fun, right?)
Fisher's research says that we can actually enhance the opportunity for chemistry if we work to find someone with a personality profile complementary to our own.
She has evaluated ten's of thousands of profiles at Chemistry.com and come up with some personality types.
So making relationships work can be enhanced by taking Fisher's personality type test, and doing the Epstein and Gottman exercises?
And what will the Fairy Godmother have to say about all this?
Michael S. Logan is a brain fitness expert, a counselor, a student of Chi Gong, and licensed one on one HeartMath provider. I enjoy the spiritual, the mythological, and psychological, and I am a late life father to Shane, 10, and Hannah Marie, 4, whose brains are so amazing. http://www.askmikethecounselor2.com
Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Mike_Logan/27533
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3545394
Making Relationships Work
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Making Relationships Work
The Ebook "making Relationships Work" Is A Collection Of Over 80 Relationship Advice Newspaper Columns Written By A Husband And Wife Team Of Couples Counselors (aka, Dr. He Said, Dr. She Said)in Private Practice In San Diego, Ca.
Check it out!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Red Hot Love Relationships
Discover 77 Skills And Ideas For Turning Up The Heat In (and Out Of ) The Bedroom. This Breakthrough New Ebook Is For Anyone Who Wants A Closer, More Connected, More Intimate And More Passionate Relationship.
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Monday, November 28, 2011
True Love: Dying Reveals Secrets To Great Relationships
Authors Actual Near Death Experience Changed His Life And Revealed Secrets Of Healthy Relationships, Keys To True Love, Happiness, Joy And Success. Author Is A Leading Therapist And Coach. His Suspenseful, Enlightening Account Is All True!
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Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A Smart Woman's Guide To Dating, Relationships & Break Ups
Never Feel Lonely Again. Whether You Are Single, Going Through A Break Up Or In A Relationship This Guide Gives You Practical Strategies To Help You Find The Love You Deserve And Know For Sure: Is He The One? Should I End It? Does He Love Me?
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