Friday, November 25, 2011

Opposites Attract






You may remember a song by singer, choreographer, and ex- American Idol judge, Paula Abdul, from several years ago called “Opposites Attract.” In that song, she was singing about all the aspects of her personality and that of her partner’s that were totally different. She was trying to get the point across that, although there were so many polar opposite things about her and her partner, that they still loved each other frantically. If you ever saw the video for that song, you will see just HOW different they really were.



Even though this was a song and not real life, the things that Paula sang about are totally true. Opposites can, and do, attract each other all the time. What happens after that depends on how well the couple meshes in other areas of their lives and relationships. They can be as different as night and day, but if the love is strong enough and there are SOME things that they have in common, these relationships work out all the time.



Something to consider is that people who are completely opposite from each other can, many times, complement each other. They can make each other stronger and better as people. For instance, suppose there is a couple where one partner has a short fuse with a terrible temper and the other one is very laid back and rarely gets upset over anything. The partner who is a bit too laid back can often help the partner with the terrible temper. That partner can introduce calmness and stability into the relationship. On the other hand, the partner who is so volatile can help the one who tends to let people walk all over him or her. This works out quite well all the time.



Another area where this can work is by trying out the tastes and interests of each other. If one of you hates action movies while the other one detests romantic comedies, you can certainly compromise once in a while and try out a highly acclaimed film in both categories. Who knows? It just may give you both a new area of interest to enjoy together.



The idea behind relationships between opposite people is that they will balance each other in positive ways. If the love is there, and the attraction is there, it is very possible for other aspects of these relationships to work out nicely. Obviously, it will take some cooperation on both parts, but that does not mean it cannot be done. Many of the greatest relationships in history have been between two people who were so opposite from each other that there should never have been a reason for the relationship to work. Yet, these did, and were very happy ones.



In a relationship between opposite personalities, there are strengths and weaknesses. It is the meshing of these attributes that makes it all work. The weak become stronger and the stronger become a bit more mellow. In the end, what could be more perfect?


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How To Deal With A Break Up - Simple Quick Tips








If you're still smarting from a painful breakup, take heart, there is help on how to deal with a break up. Following a few simple tips can help you move through the healing process much more quickly and without doing anything that you'll regret once the dust settles.





The first thing you need to do is to stop and think. Give yourself a week or two and just go easy on yourself. Don't worry too much if your bathroom needs to be cleaned or if your hair needs to be cut, just take things slow and allow yourself to process everything that has happened. Try to continue to do things that will create problems in the future if they're not taken care of, such as going to work or paying your bills on time, but anything that won't create a problem if you ignore it for a little while... ignore it.





Just make sure that this period of 'mourning' is a limited time offer. Only allow yourself a week or two and then kick yourself (or have a friend do it) in the behind and get going. No one is saying that after a few weeks you should be over it, you won't be, but a few weeks is enough time to process everything and then it's time to get going and start living your life to the fullest again while you continue to heal.





Step two is to make sure that you still take care of you. Now that you've had some down time, it's time to rejoin the human race. Make sure that even though you still feel down that you take the time to eat properly and get enough exercise and sleep. This is not the time to start drinking or sleeping around. Those things may offer a little short term relief but remember at the beginning of the article I said that I'd help you move on with your dignity intact, doing either of these things won't help your dignity at all, so don't do them.





Step three of how to deal with a break up is to make sure that you accept that the relationship is done and avoid your ex at all costs. If the two of you move in the same social circles and you see them when you're out with friends, don't talk to them. You don't have to be rude, a nod will be ok, but don't try to engage them. This is a vulnerable time for you and if you have had a drink or two you can really say or do something that you'll regret. Just steer clear until you're stronger.





And the last thing to keep in mind is that you will have to just give it time. The amount of time it takes for you to move on to the point where you're happy, smiling and looking forward to the future will depend on many factors, every one is different. Just hang in there until you reach that point and even though it may seem impossible now remember that you will reach that point one day. These tips will help you learn how to deal with a break up so your dignity isn't compromised and you won't have a lot of baggage to carry into the next relationship.


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Relationship Break Up Advice - Breaking The Bonds




Are you looking for relationship break up advice? Do you want to move on but do not know how to get out of your relationship? There are ways to let them down easy and free yourself from the bonds of a bad relationship.





The reasons couples break up are as numerous as couples themselves. One of the biggest reasons couples break up is bad communication skills. Couples who once boasted that they can talk about anything and everything now do not say more than two words to each other and usually at the top of their lungs when they do speak.





Or, all those little things you thought were so cute right in the beginning that now have become the most annoying things you have ever seen in your life and you can't stand to watch them do them anymore or you think you will lose your mind. You even fight over them now, how stupid is that?





It doesn't matter what the reasons are or have become, if you need relationship break up advice, read on.





If the communication you did have has declined even further and your partner is avoiding you completely you may want to take the initiative and ask what the heck is going on. They may just be having some problems at work and are trying to deal with them in their own way without making you worry. What they do not understand is that their behavior is making you worry even more.





Your best bet to finding out what the heck is going on is to ask them about it. Be careful here though because if the work thing is not the problem then maybe you are and if they decide to open up then you may not like what you hear. No one wants to be the reason a relationship breaks up. It takes two to tango so do not take all the blame on yourself. Both of you have contributed to the relationships demise.





If nothing else shows itself, investigate what they are doing on the computer. If they have hidden files or have suddenly password protected their stuff then you can be sure that something is going on they do not want you to see or know about. Again, let them know you know something is wrong and you want to know what it is.





What about talking on the phone? do they leave the room and try to hide their conversations? Have you caught them talking on the phone in the bathroom or some other strange place? If so they are most definitely keeping secrets and you should prepare for the worst.





Be the initiator, set up a time and place for the two of you to talk things out and either agree to work things out or let things go. Life is too short to waste time with someone who causes you pain. Use these tips for relationship break up advice and move on with your lives.


How To Mend A Broken Relationship








There are countless reasons why you would need to mend a broken relationship. The first thing to do is to name them. Is it money? Not spending enough time together? Responsibilities getting in the way? Whatever the problems are they can be overcome.





If things have not totally gotten out of control (and even if they have) you can attempt to fix them by opening the lines of communication. Too often, when things start to go bad, people in a relationship shut down and withdraw into themselves. What you should do is grab your partner and say enough is enough, let's have this out right now. We need to work together to resolve these issues.





If the problem is money, try to either find ways to make more or find ways to spend less. One or both of you go get a part-time job to bring in more cash or learn how to spend less by cutting coupons or buying the store brands which are usually as good as the name brands and cost a lot less. Turn a hobby into a money-making machine.





If you don't spend enough quality time together then start having a date night once a week or once a month. Put a babysitter on retainer and use them frequently. Go see a movie and have dinner, go see a play, have a picnic in the park, or just go for a walk after dinner. Do something to keep in physical contact with each other during your "date". Holding hands will help mend a broken relationship.





I once knew a couple who were married for 73 years, had thirteen children and countless grand and great-grand children. They were so cute together, and they held hands everywhere they went. Physical contact is very important in keeping a relationship healthy.





How about those responsibilities? If they are too much for one of you to handle then ask the other for help. As a couple sometimes one of you just expects the other to know what you need or are thinking. If you think about it that is rather foolish, right? I know I can't read anybody's mind, can you? So lower your expectations and ask for help. Explain things and show them how to do what you need done if they don't know how. Work together to divide responsibilities evenly or if money is not a problem, hire someone to do whatever it is that you need done.





Make some time and go have some fun together. Go fly a kite, go bowling, go to the go-cart track, play miniature golf, find a way to laugh together. Be creative. Play, laugh and be happy - together. Remember how it was when you were all brand new and just falling in love? You spent every single moment together and everything was fresh and fun. You laughed all the time. Find your way back there and you'll also find that's the way to mend a broken relationship.


Tips For Dealing With Jealousy - Get Real




Have you found yourself in a relationship and constantly feeling jealous? Are you in a relationship now where you can't help but feel jealous? Feelings of jealousy come from being insecure. If you have low self esteem then you might feel that you are not good enough for your partner and worry that they will find someone more attractive. Your partner may not have done anything to make you jealous but it may be your state of mind that makes you lose confidence in yourself.





How you deal with jealousy will depend on what side of the fence you are sitting on. Is it you that is suffering from jealousy or do you have a partner that is suffering from jealousy?





If you have a partner that suffers from jealousy then you will need a lot of patience to get through this very difficult stage. It isn't easy to live with someone who does not trust you 100% and is always thinking the worst. It isn't easy to be interrogated every time you come home late or even look in the direction of another man or woman. It can get so difficult living this way that it can cause a relationship to break up. You need to decide whether the love you have for your partner is strong enough to work through this problem. If you decide that you love them enough and want to make the relationship work then you will need to help them resolve their issues. You can support them and love them through this time, but ultimately they need to resolve the issue and this might require counselling to help them see things differently. It can be a very difficult period but if you can resolve the issue it will be worth it.





If it is you who suffers from jealousy then you are probably aware that you have low self esteem and self worth. You may even be aware of some bad relationships in your childhood that have left you with these emotional wounds. Being jealous won't get your partner to behave any differently, only you can change these irrational feelings.





To stop these jealous feelings you may need to seek counselling. Self esteem issues can be deep rooted and you may need expert help to work through them. There are a number of good books that might also help you with your feelings and to develop some self esteem.





The feelings of jealousy will not just disappear; if you don't take steps to overcome these feelings then your relationship may not last. Even the most loving, patient partners can only put up with being accused of cheating so many times before they break. In fact, accusing them of cheating over and over again might actually lead them to do it. They might begin to think that if you are going to accuse them of it anyway they might as well do it.





Communicate with your partner and let them know exactly how you are feeling and why you feel that way. A good relationship should be able to get through difficult times like this and if you have an understanding partner they will support you through this time. Seek help to overcome your self esteem issues and soon you will be enjoying a loving relationship without constantly feeling jealous.


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Infatuation Scripts
Infatuation Scripts