Thursday, December 1, 2011

Bad Break Up - Hurts - But Can Be Positive








The first thing you will want to do after a bad break up is to let yourself feel the hurt. Don't bottle it up or push it down and pretend everything is ok. We all know everything is not ok and it is not healthy to pretend you are not hurting. If you ignore it, it will not go away and someday will come back to bite you in the butt.





Now, I don't mean you have to go off the deep-end either. Never threaten your ex. Nothing good will ever come of threatening someone. There are healthy ways to handle what you are feeling.





You must realize that you will not be over your ex tomorrow. Getting over someone takes time. Make the time constructive and treat it as a time to learn new relationship skills. You will not only be healthier for yourself but also for the next time around with someone new.





So, feel your pain, but do not let it consume you. Put a time limit on it. When the anger starts to surface, and it will, trust me, there are safe ways to let it out where no one gets hurt.





If you still have a picture of your ex, draw a target on it and tack it up on the wall. Go buy some marshmallows and stand about ten feet from the tacked up picture. Throw the marshmallows one at a time, as hard as you can at the picture while telling him/her off. Scream at the top of your lungs, just get everything out. There are about forty-five marshmallows in a bag, throw each one and when you are done, yeah, you will have a mess but you will feel a lot better. You might even be laughing when you are finished. Ha, what bad break up?





There is something to be said for being able to laugh. If you can laugh, whatever the trouble is, it probably isn't really that bad. You know you can handle anything at this point. You will survive and realize that it was not the end of your world, just the end of a relationship that had been bad for a long time.





If you have given yourself plenty of time (minimum six months) to get your world put back together then consider dating again. The next time you find someone you would like to get to know better, take it slow. What the heck, even play hard to get. You are stronger now and know more about what you need and want in a new relationship.





Do not give up on love, love is the most beautiful thing to be in, in the whole world.



Just take your time getting into a new relationship. Talk to whoever you are considering dating and let them know that your previous relationship ended badly and you are going to do whatever it takes to not let yourself get hurt again and avoid another bad break up.


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